Hello Again, and I would like to say thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I haven’t written a post in almost 2 years, and my only reasons are lack of confidence and laziness.
In Fall 2013, I was in the best shape of my life. I had lost 80 lbs, was fitting into size 10 skinny jeans, and felt amazing in my own skin.
One of my favorite phrases is “then life intervened.” I slowly gained about 25 lbs back, and then held steady at that weight for about a year.
Then last year I made some major life decisions that I really struggled with. I decided to uproot my life and to move to a new town 360 miles away, which also put me 650 miles away from my family. I knew that it was an amazing career opportunity, but I was very unsure of whether or not it was the right decision for me personally. I was going to move to a town where I knew exactly one person; I was leaving the amazing social family that I had built; I was going to be farther away from my family than I had ever been in my life.
After an abundance of internal struggle and conversations with my my mom, I ultimately accepted the job. Immediately I started to pack on the pounds through stress eating, which I also attribute to depression. I was preparing to go on an amazing vacation to Italy and Greece, and when I should have been working on losing weight and getting in shape, I was eating junk food by the pound.
At the beginning of June, I went with my mother and brother on our trip, but I have very few pics that aren’t selfies because I hated how I looked.
I was overweight, my clothes were very snug, and I looked like I had given up. However, I do have a few selfies that I feel beautiful in.
After returning from my trip, I continued to gain weight. I was stuck in a horrible place of not wanting to move for personal reasons and wanting to move for professional ones. However, the contract was signed; I had signed a new lease and had given up my old apartment; I was obligated to move.
After the move was complete, I was very excited about the fact that my new place had 3 bedrooms, and I dedicated one of the upstairs rooms to fitness – much to the chagrin of my older brother who graciously helped me move my 7,000 lbs (that might be an exaggeration) treadmill upstairs. I decided to go back to my fitness roots of Jillian Michaels, and I bought her newest 60-day program Body Shred.
I did exactly 4 days and promptly quit. I was out of shape; it was hard. Why should I bother? I was destined to be fat. I stayed in that mindset for the next 4 months. I got my junk food addiction partially under control, lost about 10 lbs, and kept it off. I was still depressed. I hated being away from my friends and family. As much as I was loving my new job, I could not shake the funk that I was in.
I decided right before Christmas that enough was enough. I asked my parents for the newest Beachbody program of Hammer and Chisel, and they graciously got it for me.
I committed this time. I knew I could do 8 solid weeks of this program. I got my eating in check and was following the workout schedule religiously. Guess what? Life intervened. I learned some news that really put me back in a funk.
Thank God for amazing friends. My best friend in the entire world called me out on the fact that I had quit posting in our Facebook fitness group. She questioned me and provided me with emotional support. Through a little encouragement and a couple FaceTime workouts, I was able to get back on track. I finished the program in 9 1/2 weeks, and even though it was supposed to only be 8 weeks, I consider finishing the program a victory. I did more than the required 56 workouts. I did all of the additional deluxe workouts that were considered supplementary, and I did a couple extra workouts as well to finish out a week.
I’m still working at it. I’m still struggling daily. I’m still battling stress and depression, BUT I’m not giving up. I’m working at finding a balance and finding happiness. I’m working on accepting that this is going to be a lifelong battle for me. I will not accept that being unhealthy and overweight all that is in store for me. I will succeed!